


Family MaDnEsS

by larissa_fanfics



Series: The Hargreeves Deserve Better [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: But there is? Plot, Cell Phones, Crack, Cute, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Fun, Gen, Happy, Happy Ending, Hot Chocolate, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, London, M/M, Moving Out, Multi, No Apocalypse (Umbrella Academy), No Plot/Plotless, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pets, Post-Canon, School, Sick Character, Sickfic, Texting, Touch-Starved, Vomiting, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:22:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22653190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larissa_fanfics/pseuds/larissa_fanfics
Summary: This is Tua texts That no one asked for!There is gay, There is Crack, There is some bulsh*t cuz I wanted ThatHave fun reading about five being a normal kid and Diego being an overprotective dad and Klaus being such a good parent
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Patrick, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Five Hargreaves/Damion lee, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Allison & Ben & Diego & Klaus & Luther & Vanya, Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Mr. Pennycrumb, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves/Original Female Character(s), maybe
Series: The Hargreeves Deserve Better [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770946
Comments: 16
Kudos: 162
Collections: Umbrella Academy





	1. Welcome to the chat...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so five goes to school because of social services.
> 
> Ben can use phones for are enjoyment 
> 
> Diego is everyone's big brother
> 
> Klaus is the funny uncle 
> 
> Allison is the momma bear
> 
> Luther the idiot 
> 
> And Vanya is the shy sister 
> 
> (PS five and Klaus both have tik tok) 
> 
> Hehehehehehe

**Klaus Hargreeves added:**

**Number one,** **Diego Hargreeves,** **Alli Hargreeves,** **Five Hargreaves,** **Number 6,** **Vanya 7,**

**To: Hargreeves Family chat**

Alli Hargreeves: klaus? What?

Number one: What is this?

Five Hargreaves: EEEEWWWW proper punctuation GROOOSSSSS

Diego Hargreeves: yeah luther your gross

Diego Hargreeves: also y?

Vanya 7: why?

Number 6: for 2 reasons

Number one: Ben? You're dead. How are you texting?

Five Hargreaves: hi ben :)

Number 6: hi five.

Klaus Hargreeves: my powers duh.

Number 6: so reason one to show of that I can now text.

Number 6: also so we can keep track of each other since we all have phone

Klaus Hargreeves: thanks alli

Alli Hargreeves: no prp 

Five Hargreaves: WAIT I MUST DO SOMETHING.

Number one: what are you going to do?

Number one: Five?

**Number Five is now admin,**

**Number Five has changed his name to: Fiveguys**

**Fiveguys changed Number one to: Loofah**

**Fiveguys changed Diego Hargreeves to: Diglet**

**Fiveguys changed Alli Hargreeves to: xoxogossipgirl**

**Fiveguys changed Kaus Hargreeves to: sandyklaus**

**Fiveguys changed Number 6 to: Ben10**

**Fiveguys changed vanya 7 to imgay**

**Fiveguys changed Group chat name to Family MaDnEsS**

Loofah: why?

Sandyklaus: I LOVE IT

Fiveguys: I thought you would

Imgay: hehehe

Diglet: lol

Xoxogosipgirl: really :(

Ben10: shut up allison it's true!!!

Ben10: your known as the Rumor this is better.

Loofah: I don't get it. How did you do that?

Diglet: how did you become admin?!

Sandyklaus: I didn't make you admin.... sooo?

Fiveguys: hehehe y'all made me go to SCHOOL NOW Y'ALL MUST SUFFER.

Xoxogossipgirl: five we had to or social services would take toy away

Loofah: yeah, we did it for you.

Fiveguys: stop with the punctuation asshat

Imgay: let him be salty it's healthy

Diglet: yeah let him be a kid

Ben10: let him be the kid we wanted to be 

Ben10: let him live (pun intended)

Sandyklaus: nice

Xoxogosipgirl: I guess, we all need to move on

Loofah: come on guys, he is a kid, he barely lived with dad. DAD sent me to the moon for no reason and five just being mean about thing like school.

**Sandyklaus changed Loofah's name to MOON**

Sandyklaus: NO ONE CARES

Ben10: Five spent 45 YEARS in the FUCKING apocalypse 

Imgay: srry five... :( but yeah luther don't compare trauma

Xoxogossipgirl: it not your fault V it ares and luther we should compare trauma it only makes things worse.

Diglet: fuvk you luther stop complaining we all have are shit. Vanya was isolated, ben Died, klaus was in war and tortured for 10 months, I lost people I loved, allison made mistakes, Five spent 45 years in hell and you got turned into a monkey man that got sent to the moon for no reason, we all have daddy issues so JUST SHUT UP MAN WE ALL GOT PROBLEMS

Ben10: wow, yeah I agree we all have problems so we are talking about them to fix them or make us feel better

Imgay: not to just make someone feel bad.

Sandyklaus: and also not use them as an excuse to do things

Xoxogossipgirl: yeah, let change the subject?

MOON: okay

Diglet: where's 5?

Ben10: @Fiveguys ? Dude?

Sandyklaus: FIVE DUDE ANSWER US

Xoxogossipgirl: now I'm getting worried

Imgay: five can you just say your alive so we don't have to worry?

MOON: maybe he's out of battery.

Sandyklaus: what kid doesn't have their phone on them and a charger and it's five he's super prepared for everything.

Diglet: Five? Dude even if your mad at luther for him being an dolt can you tell the rest of use your alright.

MOON: hey!

Ben10: wait isn't he at school maybe a teacher took his phone away?

Xoxogossipgirl: but five is super stealthy

Sandyklaus: yeah 

Imgay: their is probably a very logical reason for him not answering us

Diglet: yeah five is very logical right

Fiveguys: hi, I'm Damion Lewis and five is super sick he has been throwing up for the past 15 minutes so maybe one of can pick him up?

Fiveguys: he has been sick all day

Fiveguys: and some guy called Luther said he still had to go to school but he is really sick I don't think he can make it the rest of the day

Ben10: luther wtf?

Sandyklaus: HE TOLD YOU HE WAS SICK AND YOU SENT HIM TO SCHOOL

Xoxogossipgirl: what the hell Luther 

Imgay: then you ask why we don't like you

MOON: I thought he was lying so he didn't have to go to school. He hates he place.

Imgay: true but he are brother he has the benefit of doubt or whatever he's are brother!

Diglet: okay Damion I'll almost their okay

Fiveguys: Dami left to grab my stuff. But sound good. Oh and luther said that I should prove that I was sick or just go to school since he doesn't fall for lies I just didn't have the energy.

Fiveguys: so all good I told him 5 minutes before I left it made the hole thing suspicions.

Fiveguys: LOL MOON that is so much better

Diglet: okay I'm here where are you?

Imgay: if you say so five

Xoxogosipgirl: next time your sick tell more then 1 person and also tell us earlier 

MOON: I'm sorry five I didn't think you were actually sick.

Sandyklaus: I'm just hope your okay

Ben10: how are you feeling?

**Dii to Fivey**

Dii: hey where are you?

Dii: Five?

Fivey: 2 floor bathroom

Dii: okay 

_Diego finished signing the papers and then he went to the second were he found a kid " hey kid" diego called "yeah?" The kid answers "can you tell me were the bathroom is" diego asked " are you Diego the one who going to pick up five?" The kid asked "yeah?" Diego answers " well I'm Damion and these are his things and the bathroom is 2 door to the left"_

_The kid- Damion answers as he hands me a backpack and starts to walk away Diego nods to himself and walks to the bathroom and winces in sympathy at the sound of someone hurling. "Five?" Diego asks someone grunts and diego assumes it five so he walks up to the stall where he heard it and knocks "five buddy you in their?" Diego asked_

_A choked noise came from the stall then with a quiet strained voice he answered " y-yeah" diego opened the unlock stall door and saw five on the floor his head on the bowl in a slouched._

_Diego went in and kneeled down to his level and pulled Five toward him and five instantly melted to the touch, everyone has been trying very hard to be a family then klaus said that he thinks five is touch starved and the more we looked into it the more it seemed to be true, so it makes since that he melted to the touch explicitly if he is sick. Diego sighs and asks "you okay?" Five just shakes his head and says " I feel like shit" diego snorts, nods and says " come on let's go" five nods_

_They go down to the car and Diego makes five drink a bottle of Gatorade then five takes out his phone and sees the rest of the texts_

**Hargreeves MaDnEsS**

Ben10: how are you feeling?

Fiveguys: yeah I feel better

Imgay: good. I'll be home soon

Sandyklaus: I'm already home so I'll make you your special coffee ;)

Xoxogossipgirl: I'll pick you up Vanya

MOON: should Five be drinking coffee when he's sick

Ben10: but its special

Xoxogossipgirl: coffee isn't healthy for him

Imgay: isn't he throwing up?

Fiveguys: but it yummy

MOON: it only going to make you more sick

Sandyklaus: IT HOT CHOCOLATE WITH WHIPPED CREAM AND CINNAMON 

Sandyklaus: it just what I called it when he was having a panic attack once and it became are thing 

Ben10: I remember that I told you coffee wouldn't help his nerves 

Fiveguys: so can I have it

Xoxogossipgirl: that cute of course you can have it

Imgay: yeah it all good

MOON: sure I guess

Fiveguys: yay

Sandyklaus: I'm going to make it now

Ben10: MOVIE NIGHT!!!!!

Imgay: YESSS!

Xoxogossipgirl: sounds fun

MOON: sure.

Sandyklaus: we watching TANGLED!

Fiveguys: tangled is my favorite 

Fiveguys: diego said he's in

Imgay: okay see you at home


	2. Day in day out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a time skip from the least one but not to long. More like a month

**Family MaDnEsS**

**Fiveguys changed "ben10" to "bentenicals"**

**Sandyklaus changed his name to "ouijaboard"**

**Ouijaboard changed "Diglet" to "stabby"**

**Ouijaboard changed "xoxogossipgirl" to "allicat"**

**Ouijaboard changed "Fiveguys" to "Kid"**

Kid: hey!

**Ouijaboard changed: "imgay" to "powers"**

Ouijaboard: lol

Ouijaboard: thought it made more sense 

Bentenicals: really?

Kid: I got a better one!!!

Ouijaboard: y didn't you put it?

Kid: not family friendly 

Stabby: we aren't family friendly 

Kid: okay 

**Kid changed "bentenicals" to "hentai"**

Ouijaboard: LOL good!

Stabby: hahahah

Hentai: gt gt dude 

Allicat: hehehe nice 

Allicat: I liked the name

Powers: I like the names ;)

MOON: I don't understand what's hentai?

Kid: uhhhh...

Kid: I'm underage I'm not allowed to talk about it without parental consent 

MOON: Then why did you put in the group? Who gave you parental permission to put it in this group? Actually who is Five's legal guardian?

Hentai: u don't know?

Allicat: we had a family meeting about it...

Stabby: we were deciding who was the most responsible

Ouijaboard: did you forget?

Powers: pls tell me you forgot and that you haven't been ignoring all of the family meeting!

MOON: I forgot of course I pay attention in family meetings

MOON: It just alot been going on with all of us I can't keep track.

Kid: dude it all good you can just say you forgot no one going to be mad

Kid: they all just bored so they are trying to pick a fight

Kid: but Diego is my primary guardian and Klaus is my secondary, but every one else except allison and you can take care of me on a daily basis 

Allicat: I can take care of you as of next week :D

Stabby: nice

Ouijaboard: I'm so happy for you

Hentai: so is claire coming to see us?

Allicat: yep she is going to be here for Christmas 

Powers: I'm excited to meet her

MOON: I am too. But why can't I take care of five?

Kid: you have to many emotional outbursts?

Kid: I think the social services agent is just scared of you since your half ape so... not exactly capable of taking care of a child? Idk ask diego @stabby your the one that talked to them

Stabby: where are you?

Stabby: @MOON it more like they think that you have a lot of problems because you spent the most time with dad and now you have to find yourself and be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of others so it more like don't leave five alone with you because five has "been abused while you were on the moon" and they don't want you to trigger each other 

Ouijaboard: @MOON they think five lived with dad while you were at the moon so they think that five can trigger you with dad's abuse and that you can trigger five.

Powers: it not you especially you it the thing we told them about five so we didn't have to explain the apocalypse and the fact that he has super powers

Hentai: so it not because your not good enough it's because of the abuse that dad put is through and how you never left

Allicat: they just want to keep five and you safe and not have you hurt each other 

~~ _**+×÷=+×÷=+×÷=+×÷=+×÷=+×÷=+×÷=+×÷=+×÷=+** _ ~~

**Meanwhile**

**Dii to Fivey**

Dii: where the fuck ARE YOU?

Fivey: idk 

Dii: what do you mean you don't know?

Fivey: give me a sec

Fivey: I just teleported by accident 

Fivey: okay I'm near central park 

Dii: omg are you okay?

Fivey: yeah I just freaked out when a girl screamed bloody murder and teleported 

Fivey: can you pick me up?

Dii: yeah send me your location

**Fivey shared his location with Dii**

Dii: you sure you're okay?

Fivey: yeah just got spooked

Fivey: I'm starved and tired I didn't even think I could teleport

Dii: okay I'll be their in 2 minutes 

Dii: wait did you not eat lunch?

Fivey: don't be mad but no I didn't 

Dii: y not

Fivey: felt queasy

Dii: are you sick?

Fivey: no!

Fivey: I think it just stress

Fivey: everyone in my class wants me to go to Luke's party bash and the hole school is going but I don't want to go but every one wants me to

Dii: oh hey it okay don't feel pressured to go if you don't want to 

Fivey: I already feel pressured since I already said no but they are trying to convince me to go

Dii: okay say that I didn't let you then

Fivey: really?

Dii: sure idc what 13 year old kid think of me

Fivey: okay I'll do that

Fivey: are you here yet?

Dii: yeah I'm in front of the pretzel stand 

Fivey: can I get a pretzel?

Dii: yeah

_Five walks toward the pretzel stad where he sees diego waving and smiling at him, five smiles back and starts to walk a little faster "hey_

_five says "hi! Come on let's get that pretzel and go" diego responds and five nods. They grab a pretzel and go into the car after putting their seat belts (safety first) they start heading home_

_" so why are you tired?" Diego asked and five answers_

_" kept waking up at night. Around 4am I gave up on sleeping and just watch vine compilations till 6"_

_Diego answers back " hey what did we talk about?"_

_Five answers "if I have a nightmare or can't sleep I should go to you or to klaus."_

_Diego nods then adds "no matter what" five nods along with that. They talk about random stuff and about how stupid their family are when five takes out his phone to look at his text_

~~ **_€£¥₩€£¥₩€£¥₩€£¥₩€£¥₩€£¥₩€£¥₩€£¥_ ** ~~

**School home room 5⁰⁹**

President: okay so jess and tara are going to your party 

Iamyourson: nice

Robotwithfeeling: hey I can't go my brother diego said I have to stay home for family game night

Iamyourson: u guys do family game nights on Saturdays?

Robotwithfeeling: yep it just family bonding day

Sparklinginthelightbutnottwilight: sucks bro

Ihateloganpaul: sad

Iloveloganpaul: f in the chat for respect 

Jackaboy: f

**_ ~~!@#$% &!@#$%&!@#$%&!@#$%&!@#$%&!@#^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~~ _ **

**Family MaDnEsS**

Kid: we should make Saturdays official family bonding day

Ouijaboard: good idea!

Hentai: I like it!

MOON: no one explained Ben's name to me

MOON: I don't mind family nights be Saturday 

Allicat: I'm not explaining it

Alllicat: hey @kid shouldn't you be home by now?

Allicat: I think SPFBD is good

Powers: yes 

Kid: I'm be home in 1 minute I'm also with diego 

Kid: he said he fine with it 

Hentai: nice so tomorrow we are having FUN 

Kid: F is for friend who do stuff together...

Powers: U is for you and me...

Ouijaboard: N is for anywhere and anytime at all...

Hentai: down here in the big blue seeeeeaaa!

Aliicat: lol

MOON: ?

Stabby: spongebob 

Stabby: anyway five is going to take a nap now so we will take to you guys later

Powers: night

Ouijaboard: night night

Hentai: Gnight 

Aliicat: sweetdream

MOON: Good Night Five.

Kid: thanks guys good night to you all to :)

_Five go up to his room, and takes a shower and changes while Diego gets klaus to make him fives special coffee for five as he changes into pjs the with a cup of hot cocoa he goes back to fives room and gives him the hot cocoa when five is down getting comfortable in his bad. Then Diego grabs his laptop and lays down with five and opens Netflix and asks_

_" okay what do want to watch? Keeping in mind you have to sleep!"_

_Five answers_ _"I'm on season 2 of the disastrous life of Saiki K. (An: really good anime their is a sequel and you can watch the show and squeal on Netflix) so can I just continue that?"_

_Diego answers with a simple "sure" and put it one five quickly finishes his hot cocoa and not even five minutes later falls asleep curled up against Diego like a baby koala and soon after Diego falls asleep to._

~~ **_♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧_ ** ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luther is MOON  
> Diego is stabby and dii and was Digelt  
> Allison is allicat and was xoxogossipgirl  
> Klaus is ouijaboard was sandyklaus  
> Five is Kid and is fivey and robotwithfeeling and was Fiveguys  
> Benis hentai and bentenicals was ben10  
> Vanya is Powers was imgay
> 
> I love feedback so send me all the feedback pls


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luther is MOON  
> Diego is stabby and dii  
> Allison is allicat  
> Klaus is ouijaboard  
> Five is Kid and is fivey and robotwithfeeling  
> Benis hentai  
> Vanya is Powers

**Family MaDnEsS**

oujiaboard: kill me!

Powers: y?

Hentai: he been sick for a week but now it really bad 

Ouijaboard: BENNY!

Kid: schools canceled can someone pick me up?

Kid: u've been sick all week?

Allicat: can't pick you up I have to be at the airport in 30mins to catch my flight to la

Allicat: klaus you should have told one of us

Powers: can't my apartment is on lockdown 

everyone except luther: y is you apartment on lockdown?

Powers: guy with a gun don't worry police are here

Stabby: I'll pick u up five

Stabby: are you sure

Powers: yeah, but hey if you want when the lockdown is over you can pick me up

Stabby: sure sounds good

Ouijaboard: ...

Hentai: ...

MOON: What the hell

Kid: where is my backpack?

Ouijaboard: uh my sleeping pills are gone

Hentai: they were in his hands then they just disappeared 

Allicat: you have sleeping pills

Ouijaboard: their non narcotic and they help me with the ghost don't worry

Allicat: oh okay

MOON: All of the equipment in the training room disappeared and I was on one of them!

Stabby: what?

Kid: I found my backpack it was in my locker

Ouijaboard: I found my pills

Hentai: they were under the bed

MOON: oh wait I'm just crazy 

Allicat: what happend?

Kid: Diego!

Stabby: what?

Kid: when are you getting here?

Ouijaboard: what's the rush?

Kid: klaus got me sick 

Hentai: how?

Kid: we were watching tangled 

Ouijaboard: right I forgot about that

Hentai: how did I not know about this?

Ouijaboard: you were out with Dave 

Hentai: oh

Stabby: I'm here

Kid: okay

Kid: oh I see you 

Stabby: okay so klaus and five are on quarantined 

Ouijaboard: but luther got me sick with his monkey virus 

MOON: Hey! 

MOON: And it not a monkey virus

Kid: Diego's asking if your sick

MOON: Not anymore

Hentai: he stopped after he got you sick

Kid: rude. I was planning on going to my friends house but know I can't 

Powers: sad!

Kid: mood

Ouijaboard: mood

Hentai: mood

Allicat: mood

Stabby (five is using since Diego is driving): Mood

MOON: I don't get it

Allicat: Five you have friends?

Kid: yeah

Kid: I have social life unlike luther

MOON: Hey!

Ouijaboard: well I have friends and a ghost boyfriend, Diego has friends, Vanya has friends, Ally has Friends, an Ex Husband, and a Daughter, Five has Friends, Ben has Ghost friends, but you don't have friends luther 

Kid: ouch

Powers: lockdown is over!

Allicat: yay

Kid: diego is going to pick you up know!

**Error message 53530**

**Error message 53530**

**Error message 53530**

**Error message 53530**

MOON: what?

Ouijaboard: oh is doing thing their not supposed to do?

Allicat: not me

Powers: not me

Hentai: not me

Stabby: hey v we're here

Stabby: also not me

Kid: I have been talking to you guys and watching Netflix 

Stabby: true

Powers: who is it then

MOON: I'm trying to become admin 

Kid: ... one sec

Ouijaboard: don't make him adim

**Kid has kicked MOON out of the Family MaDnEsS**

Kid: done, now klaus! 

Ouijaboard: yeah?

Kid: can I have hot cocoa while I watch Netflix plssss 

Ouijaboard: sure

Allicat: put luther back in, he's acting like a kicked puppy

**Ouijaboard added MOON to Family MaDnEsS**

ouijaboard: done

Hentai: ...

Kid: uh

Powers: ^

Hentai: ^^

Stabby: ^^^

Ouijaboard: ^^^^

Allicat: your the one who added him

Ouijaboard: I did it because you asked me to

_They continue to argue about it till Allison's flight, five, Diego, and Vanya get home and Klaus and Five watch Netflix and drink hot cocoa after some time Diego and vanya join them then luther with a peace offering (cake) also joins them_

**School homeroom 5⁰⁹**

Sugar&spice&everythingnice: hey what's the home work?

Robotwithfeeling: page 66 to 69

Sexed: 69 lol

Sugar&spice&everythingnice: thanks @Robotwithfeeling

Onemoretime: yeah thanks

Robotwithfeeling: np 

2smartest: want to go to the park tomorrow @Robotwithfeeling?

Robotwithfeeling: sure Demi

Shipper: MY SHIP

2smartest: lol

President: I going to do something 

Potato: ?

Banana: ^

McDonald's: ^^

Mustard: ^^^^

**President changed 2smartest to imdateing**

**President changed robotwithfeeling to Dating**

Shipper: AHHHHH Yessss

Dating: y?

Imdating: ^

President: you two are cute together 

Sugur&spice&everythingnice: ^ I agree 

MUST: ^^

MUSTARD: ^^^

Potato: ^^^^

Banana: ^^^^^

McDonald's: ^^^^^

**Direct message**

**E=Darth to E=Walmart**

E=Darth: do you still want to go out?

E=Walmart: yeah I would

E=Darth: so when are we going to tell everyone?

E=Walmart: when do you want to?

E=Darth: want to have a photo of us kissing "leaked"

E=Walmart: yeah sound good

E=Darth: I should tell my parents that I'm dating first though

E=Walmart: well I could go over to your house tomorrow for lunch to meet them

E=Darth: I could go over to your house after for dinner

E=Walmart: sure but be warned my family is pure MaDnEsS 

E=Darth: mine is to :)

E=Walmart: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luther is MOON  
> Diego is stabby and dii  
> Allison is allicat  
> Klaus is ouijaboard  
> Five is Kid and is fivey and Dating and E=Walmart  
> Benis hentai  
> Vanya is Powers


	4. Can I go to London?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five wants to go on a field trip and thus chaos ensues (and also fluff alot of cute dating fluff)

**Family MaDnEsS**

  
**Kid** : heygoodmorningtodayisawonderfulday-tiktokmeme

**Kid** : so I have a class field trip tomorrow…

  
**Kid** : and I kinda maybe wanna go?

  
**Hentai** : were is it to?

  
**Stabby** : you can go if you want

  
**Ouijaboard** : are little baby is getting a social life! I’m so happy 

  
**Moon** : Should he really go on a trip to Europe? What if someone finds out about his powers?

  
**Allicat** : Europe? Wait Five you want to go on a field trip to Europe!

  
**Powers:** why do you know where the field trip is luther?

  
**Moon** : The permission slip is on the kitchen table.

  
**Kid** : spell like a normal human being 

  
**Moon** : I am!

  
**Kid** : anyway, the field trip is to Europe. More specifically London 

  
**Kid** : photoofLondoncity

  
**Kid** : photoofhotel

  
**Kid** : linktohotelwebsite

  
**Kid** : it’s SUPER save and I promise I won’t use my powers at all.

  
**Kid** : can I go?

  
**Ouijaboard** : course short stack 

  
**Stabby** : yeah you can go have fun

  
**Powers** : but text us

  
**Moon** : Do not use your powers.

  
**Allicat** : have fun

  
**Hentai** : you should start packing

  
**Stabby** : I’ll go sign the permission slip

  
**Kid** : okay cool 

**Five’s guardians**

  
**Members: Di, kloos, bin, al, van**

  
**Di** : something wrong with luther.

  
**Kloos** : why is he so worried about five going on a trip

  
**Al** : this trip will be good for him

  
**Van** : I just passed his room he is so happy and he is talking on the phone 

  
**Bin** : he is being a kid who is excited about a field trip

  
**Di** : yeah it a 1 week field trip to London and they are going to look at museums and national treasure and learn more about the British culture 

  
**Al** : yeah how can that be a bad thing?

  
**Al** : im going to ask luther what his problem is and I’ll be right back

**Direct Messages**

  
**Alli and Luth**

  
**Alli** : okay tell me the real reason you don’t want five to go on the field trip

  
**Luth** : It dangerous.

  
**Alli** : well he will always be in danger and he could always use his powers by accident at school too

  
**Alli** : so real reason 

  
**Luth** : He doing fine right now, but if he goes down the rabbit hole we aren’t their to help him.

  
**Alli** : what do you mean? What rabbit hole?

  
**Luth:** Okay, What if he has a PTSD attack or just a panic attack? Klaus and Diego won’t be their to calm him down.

  
**Luth** : We should be making sure he’s okay not put him in a different situation 

  
**Alli** : oh luther he going to be fine, and sure he could have a panic or PTSD attack but making him stay home will just make him feel more different 

  
**Alli** : and he promised to call and text us the hole time and if he can’t handle it one of use can pick him up. Okay?

  
**Luth** : okay if you and everyone else is sure

  
**Alli** : good

**Five’s guardians**

  
**Members: Di, kloos, bin, alli, van**

  
**Alli** : luther is worried five might spiral but we talked and he is all in

  
**Van** : he could spiral any moment putting attention on it will just make him scared 

  
**Kloos** : and telling him he can’t go because he’s different is just going to make him depressed 

  
**Bin** : and telling him or making him feel fragile will make him mad and he will just put up his wall and isolate himself 

  
**Di** : plus he asked to go we aren’t forcing him to if he want to back out he can

  
**Alli** : yeah 

  
**Van** : okay since luther has gotten better at taking care of himself and seems worried about five as a brother and not as a team mate should we add him to this group?

  
**Di:** I think so

  
**Kloos:** yep

  
**Bin:** if he talks shit we can kick him out

  
**Alli has added Luth to Five’s guardians**

  
**Luth:** ? What is this?

  
**Van:** let us explain 

  
**Kloos:** we created a group chat so we can talk about how to help five but with his input so we can make the best decisions without him making use go one way or the other

  
**Luth:** oh

  
**Di:** it not hard to explain 

**Homeroom** **5⁰⁹**

  
**Memequeen:** so who is going?

  
**President:** I am and so is every one else there are only 3 people who are going to ask their parents and 2 who aren’t going

  
**Imdating:** I am

  
**Dating:** me to

  
**Ilovegays:** cool so you guys can date!

  
**Shipper:** you guys have to kiss on this trip but in like a special place so only the okay with gays see

  
**Shipper:** I am going to write a fanfic about it 

  
**Imdating:** pls don’t 

  
**Dating:** we aren’t going to read it

  
**Shipper:** okay then send me the video of you to kissing that you deleted on Instagram 

  
**Ilovegays:** wait theirs a video so you guys are dating

  
**Memequeen:** send it now pls

  
**Dating:** if I do will you leave us alone during the trip?

  
**Ilovegays, president, memequeen, toney, ironically, ironcman, shipper, sext, makeme, textsexttoyext and 10 others** : YES!

  
**Dating:** DemiandFivekissingvideo

  
**Imdating:** photoofthemsnugglingtogether

  
**Dating:** me and @Imdating are actually dating since the midterms

  
**Shipper:** so my ship is real?

  
**Imdating &Dating**: yep

  
**Detect Messages**

  
**E= Darth and E= Walmart**

  
**E= Darth:** so technically we just came out to are class.

  
**E= Walmart:** so does that mean I have to come out to my family?

  
**E= Darth:** you should 

  
**E=Walmart:** I know I will

  
**E=** **Darth:** so are you done packing?

  
**E=Walmart:** yep! Y?

  
**E=Darth:** we could go out

  
**E=Walmart:** meet you at the park near the icecream bar?

  
**E=Darth:** see you in a little bit

_After telling Diego, five goes to the park and meets up with Damion, they walk for a little while then get icecream now they are currently laying on the grass ( or more specifically Damion is laying on the grass while five is laying on him) talking and chatting till their curfew and they walk back and say good bye to each other, then five gets home and goes to klaus’s room to tell him about his date since only Klaus and Diego know that he is dating a guy as for everyone else just know he is dating someone but not who._

  
♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡

  
** _Don’t worry we will get more dating fluff and we will also be taking him to London and we will see what happens after._ **   
** _Also do you want me to write in a panic/ptsd attack?_ **


	5. Prepare for london

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone finds out that five is dating a guy (Damion) while five gets ready to go to London. and five says that he loves every one of his siblings.

**Homeroom 5⁰⁹**

**President:** okay is everyone ready for Tomorrow?

**President:** this is what you need to take: a signed permission slip, warm clothes, water bottles, food for the plane (optional), money to buy food (optional), and a blanket (optional )

**Shipper:** also a camera so we can take a picture of @Imdating and @dating dating!

**Beesknees:** we should change their names

**Imdating:** yes

**President changed Imdating to smart1**

**President changed dating to Datingsmart1**

**President:** what about now?

**Datingsmart1:** really?

**Smart1:** ^ true but why?

**Shipper:** I got a good one!

**President:** okay what is it?

**Direct Messages**

**Shane and Kevin**

**Kevin:** what’s the name?

**Shane:** five is smart1 since it true but Damion should be ²smartest

**Kevin:** nice I do that

**Homeroom 5⁰⁹**

**President changed Datingsmart1 to ²smartest**

**President:** what do you think?

**Smart1:** I like it

**²smartest:** I like it too

**Shipper:** good!

**Beesknees:** now who isn’t going on the trip?

**Memequeen:** jess and Luka can’t go and Idk if sissy will go.

**President:** jess and Luka are a no go and sissy is a maybe?

**Memequeen:** yep

**President:** okay!

**Direct Messages**

**Di and Fivey**

**Five:** so the trip is tomorrow

**Di:** I know.

**Di:** are you sure you want to go?

**Fivey:** yes!

**Di:** okay, but text me and call me while you are there

**Di:** and if you want to back out you can one of us will pick you up

**Fivey:** I know, answer all your texts and if I want to go home I’ll I have to do is ask

**Di:** okay say goodbye to everyone before I take you to the airport

**Fivey:** okay. I’m going to the park with demi

**Di:** okay have a fun date

**Fivey:** okay I will

**Di:** love you see you later

(an: just in case you didn’t get it he sent I love you by accident)

**Fivey:** love you too bye

**Five’s Guardians**

**Members: Di, Kloos, bin, Alli, van, and luth**

**Di:** OMG

**Kloos:** what?

**Bin:** are you okay?

**Alli:** did something happen?

**Luth:** What happened? Is it bad?

**Van:** tell us before we go crazy

**Di:** five just said he loves me

_And thus the chaos begins…_

**Kloos:** WHAT really how

**Bin:** omg it happened it HAPPENED

**Luth:** okay calm down

**Alli:** do think he will tell me!

**Van:** we should ask

**Di:** I said it by accident and he said it back

**Kloos:** omg I’m gonna try

**Luth:** Klaus no wait

**Direct Messages**

**Spooky to Littlekiller**

**Spooky:** hi!

**Littlekiller:** hi

**Spooky:** what are you doing?

**Littlekiller:** I’m on a date with dami

**Spooky:** oh sorry am I interrupting

**Littlekiller:** no he’s getting us milkshakes and I’m just waiting so what up

**Spooky:** oh what are you doing for a date?

**Littlekiller:** picnic.

**Littlekiller:** but the icecream bar had a buy one get one free milkshake and there are new milkshakes flavors so he getting us some while I set up but I'm done so now I’m waiting for him and texting you

**Spooky:** oh sounds fun. I just want to know how you are

**Littlekiller:** okay I’m good. How are you?

**Spooky:** I great.

**Spooky:** well I’m going to bother Diego see you later! Love you!

_Klaus waited for five to respond anxiously not wanting to be turned down, sure the whole reason he texted five was for this but he does mean it he loves five the baby assassin_

(Btw it been like 10 secs from the last text)

**Littlekiller:** love you too, see you when I get home J

**Five’s guardians**

**Members: Di, Kloos, bin, Alli, van, luth**

**Kloos:** omg if said he loves me back

**Di:** it feels good right

**Van:** I want to try

**Kloos:** good luck

**Direct Messages**

**Vanvan to whittle**

**Vanvan:** hey

**Whittle:** hi

**Vanvan:** I just wanted to tell you that I love you

**Whittle:** oh okay love you too?

**Whittle:** I got to go back to my date

**Vanvan:** who are you on a date with?

**Whittle:** oh do you know Damion?

**Vanvan:** yeah

**Whittle:** I’m dating him

**Vanvan:** oh that’s nice!

**Vanvan:** so you like guys

**Whittle:** I like guys and girls

**Vanvan:** me to J

**Vanvan:** now go back to your date

**Whittle:** okay bye

**Direct Messages**

**Members: Di, Kloos, bin, van, Alli, luth**

**Van:** omg I feel great

**Kloos:** yes!

**Bin:** I will be right back

**Direct Messages**

**Benny and Fivey**

**Benny:** hey I love you and I missed you when you left

**Fivey:** love you too benny and I’m sorry I left and that your dead… I miss you too

**Benny:** hey it, not your fault

**Benny:** have fun on your date tell Damion I said hi

**Fivey:** okay bye

**Direct Messages**

**Alli and 5y**

**Alli:** hey five love you

**5y:** love you 2?

**Direct Messages**

**Lulu and 55**

**Luth:** hey uh I love you?

**55:** okay what’s going on?

**Luth:** nothing

**Family MaDnEsS**

**Members: Kid, Moon, Allicat, Stabby, Humanouijaboard, Hentai, powers**

**Kid:** what’s going on?

**Kid:** Why is everyone saying they love me?

**Kid:** seriously some of you never text (Luther and Allison) but just randomly text me saying you love me what happened? What did you do?

**Stabby:** I told them that you told me that you love me

**Humanoijaborad:** so I wanted to try

**Powers:** then I did

**Hentai:** I regret nothing!

**Stabby:** ^

**Humanouijaboard:** ^^

**Allicat:** ^^^

**Moon:** ^^^^

**Powers:** ^^^^^

**Kid:** okay you could have asked

**Kid:** guys seriously I love all of you or I wouldn’t be here duh

**Kid:** what the hell is wrong with you, your all interrupting my date with Damion

**Moon:** wait you're dating a guy?

**Allicat:** when can I meet him?

**Hentai:** have fun

**Humanoijaborad:** but not to much FUN

**Stabby:** just use condoms you don’t want to get an STD

**Kid:** omg no I’m done bye see you all later, and Diego go to bed early so you can take me to the airport!

_A couple of hours later just after dinner time_

**Homeroom 5⁰⁹**

**President:** okay so the sleeping will be in groups of 4, boys and girls separate, we can pick the groups so tell me who is with who so we can get a head start.

**President:** for one it me, Shane, Evan, and Christopher. @Shipper, @Imgay @Ilikeguys

**Shipper:** we all know that Damion and Five @Smart1, @²smartest will be in the same room

**²smartest:** it going to be me, Five @Smart1, Gabe @Beesknees, and Oliver @handyman if that okay.

**President:** yeah sounds good, everyone else? Or the tech will pick

_Every one else texted who they partnered with so they are now getting ready for bed since their plan is at 6:30 am and they all have to be at the airport by 6 am, five was already in his room ready for bed scrolling through his phone (talking with Damion) when there was a knock on the door, five looked up to see his siblings “uh? Did you need something?” give said as a soft murmur (he is almost asleep after all) “no, just are you sure you want to go?” Klaus says kindly five just sinks more into the mattress and nods the Allison “ if you're sure then it's fine, we are just worried" five sighs every one has been worried and he knows why he is scared too but he really wants to go so he says that “ I really want to go" they nod and Klaus hugs him and says “ okay call me when you land okay.” Five nods sluggishly they all say their good night and everyone excited Diego and he walks to the bed and sits there for a while then he hugs five and whispers “you'll be fine if you feel like you can’t breathe or you just want to talk just going to be one call away” five nods his shoulders shake and hugs back after sometime five falls asleep and Diego leaves for tomorrow he has to wake up early._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you enjoyed pls hit the kudos button,  
> if you have any feedback please comment, if you have any ideas for this fic or theory i would love to hear (read lol) it  
> thanks bye! (see you all soon)


	6. London through photos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five's trip of his week in London, through tiktoks, Instagram, Twitter, and photos
> 
> And Diego is officially the the family taxi driver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luther is MOON  
> Diego is stabby and dii  
> Allison is allicat  
> Klaus is ouijaboard  
> Five is Kid and is fivey and smart¹ and E=Walmart  
> Beni s hentai  
> Vanya is Powers

**Instagram:**

**Fivegays:**

**Following: 611**

**Followers: 2.3M** _(because of Allison the super star)_

jpeg.five-demi-and-layla-infront-of-the-vectoring-monument

Jpeg.five_in_a_group_pic_with_his_class_Westminster-Palace

 _Instagram-storys_ : 

Video-of-five-and-his-friends-buying-icecream

Video-of-demi-buying-ice_coffee-for_both-them

Video_of_five_and_his_friends_making_funny_facing

Boomerang-of-five-and-demi-hands-intertwined-has-they-walk

Video-of-the-hotel-room-and-five-and-demi-cuddling-as-layla-films-them

**Twitter:**

**Five the baby assassin**

**@fivehargreeves**

**Following: 46 Followers:688M**

I just saw the the smallest statue it was cool

_500likes_

Me and my boyfriend just went on a date and half of my class followed us cuz they wanted to see us kiss 

_843likes /see thread/_

my best friend is getting boyfriend just to make her parents mad

_984likes /see replies/_

**Tiktok:**

**Crawling_into_the_kitchen_sink**

**Following: 611 Followers: 949.5K Likes: 22.1M**

Tiktok_of_five_and_demi_doing_a_couple_challenge

Tiktok-of-a-neverhaveiever-gay_edition

**Hargreeves MaDnESs**

kid: hey guys

Ouijaboard: hey fiveyyy 

Ouijaboard: how's the trip

Kid: great

MOON: aren't you going coming back tonight

Kid: yep 

Stabby: do you want me to pick you up?

Kid: yes please

Powers: Diego is like everyones personal taxi driver

Allicat: Diego is the official Hargreaves personal taxi driver

MOON: yea

Kid: my class and i going to go to a art gallery before we leave

Kid: see you all in later 

Hentai: just be warned we are all probably going to hug the life out of you when you get back 

Kid: can't wait


	7. Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is gay

**Family MaDnESs**  
 _10:43_ pm

  
 **Kid changed** stabby to stabby duck

  
 **Stabby duck:** why smh

  
 **Kid:** cuZ

  
 **Stabby** duck: k

  
 **Kid:** any way

  
**Kid changed humanouijaboard to gayest of gays**

  
**Gayest of gays:** I mean he aint wrong

  
 **Gayest of gays:** they* sowry UwU

  
 **Kid:** it okay OwO

  
 **Stabby duck:** so why

  
 **Kid:** _@powers_

  
**Powers changed their name to lesbean**

  
**Lesbean:** that is why

  
**Kid changed group chat to GAY MaDnESs**

  
**Kid:** good night 

  
**Gayest of gays:** u dnt seep

  
 **Kid:** ur point

  
 **Gayest of gays:** Tru

  
 **Lesbean:** night night

  
 **Lesbean:** I got lesson to teach tomorrow

  
 **Stabby duck:** kk night 

  
**Stabby duck:** FIVE GO TO SLEEPPPPP

  
 **KID:** MAYBE 

  
**Stabby duck:** I’ll make u hot chocolate

  
 **Kid:** okay I’ll sleep UwU

  
 **Gayest of gays:** Ben says If I don’t get of my phone he will smack me in the head

  
 **Gayest of gays** : anyway I Had An Amazing Idea

  
 **Gayest of gays:** what if we rjdjdjsdnd

  
 **Kid** : Ben has killed him 

  
**Hentai:** he will tell u his idea tomorrow

  
 **MOON:** go to sleep

  
 **Kid:** no

  
 **Stabby duck:** ):

  
 **Kid:** okay

  
 **Stabby duck:** :)

  
**GAY MaDnESs**

  
_2:43 am_

  
**Gayest of gays:** what if we start a YouTube channel

  
 **Kid:** sounds fun

  
 **Hentai:** what will we d lo ldlflf

  
 **KID:** ?

  
 **Gayest of gays:** he drop his phone

  
 **Kid:** ohhh

  
 **Hentai:** what will we do on the tube

  
 **Kid:** random shit we do everyday

  
 **Hentai:** so vlogs

  
 **Gayest of gays:** we can call it 

  
**Gayest of gays:** random shit we do everyday

  
 **Kid:** yes 

  
**Kid:** lets spend dads money on shit he wouldnt like

  
 **Gayest of gays:** yeeehhh

  
 **Gayest of gays** : they point 

  
**Gayest of gays:** dad mad 

  
**Gayest of gays:** we happy

  
 **Hentai:** Tru

  
**Kid changed Hentai to Bentai**

  
**Bentai:** y

  
 **Kid:** I asexual I dont like hentai

  
 **Gayest of gays:** yes this is a wholesome Catholic chat

  
 **Kid:** yea 

  
**Kid:** I got to go 

  
**Kid:** Diego is going to unlive me

  
 **Bentai:** you to Klaus or I will unlive u

  
 **Gayest of gays:** kk Benny boy

  
**GAY MaDnESs**

  
_7:56_ am

  
 **Stabby duck:** wtf

  
 **Kid:** listen I was laying in bed for hours…

  
 **Stabby duck** : no not that

  
 **Stabby duck:** ytf is the kitchen of fire

  
 **MOON:** Well It Not My Fault 

  
**Stabby duck:** suspicious

  
 **MOON:** No What The Fuck

  
 **Kid:** Luther stop typing like that

  
 **Kid:** also what do you MEAN THE KITCHEN ON FIRE 

  
**Stabby duck:** kitchen_sink_on_fire_jpeg

  
 **Kid:** oh 

  
**Kid:** I must do a tiktok brb

  
 **Stabby duck:** five just teleported here made a tiktok extinguished the fire and got some marshmallows and lucky charm and left

  
 **Stabby duck:** but still WHO STARTED A FIRE AND LEFT IT THEIR

  
 **MOON:** Klaus is being awfully quiet

  
 **Gayest of gays:** I was watching Tangled

  
 **Gayest of gays:** ask Ben @bentai

  
 **Kid:** u watch Tangled with out me

  
 **Bentai:** yes he did he is watching the show 

  
**Kid:** I dedicated my whole life to are load and saver Jesus Christ

  
 **Kid:** and this IS THE THANKS I GET

  
 **Lesbean:** stop yll make them think we Catholic

  
 **Allicat:** who

  
 **Kid:** y right but still KLAUS I WILL RIP ALL YOUR TEETH OUT 

  
**Gayest of gays:** fair

  
 **Allicat:** WHO 

  
**MOON:** when Ben change is name 

  
**Bentai:** around 3 am

  
 **Lesbean:** the readers

  
 **Allicat:** again who 

  
**Kid:** _@lesbean_ stop breaking the 4 wall

  
 **Lesbean:** sure sure

  
 **Allicat:** what?

  
 **MOON:** why were u awake a 3am 

  
**Bentai:** ghost dont sleep

  
 **Gayest of gays:** ghost do stop screaming and nightmares

  
 **Kid:** PTSD and insomnia

  
 **MOON:** oh

  
 **Stabby duck** : the kitchen

  
 **Lesbean:** I did it sorry

  
 **Allicat:** it okay

  
 **Stabby duck:** what were u doing

  
 **Lesbean:** don’t text and cook

  
 **Stabby duck:** oh

  
 **Stabby duck:** _@kid_ get down here and eat something healthy

  
 **Kid:** sure 

  
**Gayest of gays:** so are we going to have another fic were we reference this one but in a YouTube format

  
 **Kid:** I mean thats what the author has been planing for weeks

  
 **Allicat:** fic? Author? Wtf

  
 **Stabby duck:** just go with it their sleep deprived

  
 **Allicat:** but Vanya

  
 **Lesbean:** hasnt had a good night sleep since she almost killed everything

  
 **MOON:** okay 

  
**Allicat:** we need therapy

  
 **Bentai:** that is what I been saying

  
 **Stabby duck:** y’all come get breakfast _@everyone_

**Kid:** it the superior pancakes

  
 **Gayest of gays:** so walfulls

  
 **Bentai:** that’s not how u spell it

  
 **Gayest of gays:** autocorrect isn’t helping me and Im to tried to care

  
 **Kid:** u mean ur to gay to care

  
 **Gayest of gays:** I will be using that for the rest of my life

  
 **MOON:** Just get down stairs

  
 **Bentai:** without breaking ur jaw

  
 **Gayest of gays:** one time

  
 **Kid:** ?

  
 **Lesbean:** it supposedly happens in the comics but the author hasn’t read them yet  
(Same time) Stabby duck: it happens after u left

  
 **Allicat:** get down here for breakfast then _@gayest_of_gays@kid @lesbean_ take a nap

  
 **Kid:** I would like to watch Tangled

  
 **Allicat:** fine but ur doing it laying down

  
 **Kid:** deal


	8. Mr.pennycrumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pets pets petsssssss
> 
> Sorry it's short

**GAY MaDnESs**

  
_5:27_

  
**Kid:** plz dont be mad

  
 **Stabby duck:** five wtf did u do

  
 **Kid:** I said don’t get mad

  
 **Gayest of gays:** he did say that

  
 **Lesbean:** what did u do 

  
**Allicat:** it can’t be that bad

  
 **Bentai:** ^

  
 **Kid:** so I was at the park…

  
 **Stabby duck:** GET TO THE POINT

  
 **KID:** I found a puppy

  
 **Moon:** ohh what theyre name

  
 **Gayest of gays:** Christ on a cracker uv convinced Luther

  
 **Lesbean:** omg yessss

  
 **Allicat:** I don’t know guys

  
 **Stabby duck:** ^ we can barely take care of ourselfs

  
 **Kid:** please

  
 **Stabby duck:** ….okay

  
 **Bentai:** yessss

  
 **Allicat:** I’ll go buy stuff for…?

  
 **Kid:** him

  
 **Allicat:** him*

  
 **Kid:** mr.pennycrumb

  
 **Lesbean:** really

  
 **Kid:** my friend Layla gave them a name

  
 **Lesbean:** oh okay

  
 **Gayest of gays:** get here now I want to seee

  
 **Kid:** okay be home in 5

  
 **Gayest of gays:** kk


	9. You’re what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOUR WHAT!
> 
> ME AND ### ARE TWINS
> 
> idk it's funny
> 
> also, Luther is going to therapy!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MOON= Luther  
> Stabby Duck= Diego  
> Allicat= Allison  
> Gayestof Gays= Klaus  
> Kid= Five/Quin  
> Bentai= Ben  
> Lesbean= Vanya

Chapter 9: You’re what?

_ 11:23  _ **_GAY MaDnESs_ **

**Moon:** so i was in dad’s office…

**Gayest of gays:** y?

**Moon:** I Don’t know!

**Kid:** you miss him that y

**Moon:** okay maybe

**Allicat:** Luther…

**Moon:** i know!

**Stabby duck:** Did you find something? 

**-** since you’re telling us?

**Moon:** yes i did

**Lesbean:** soo…

**Moon:** i found some of his books

\- and it’s about us and one of them is about me and  _ @kid  _

**Kid:** oof is it about how you’re better than me?

\- if so I’m going back to class i have a test to worry about

**Moon:** No! It’s not about that.

\- it says that we're twins…

**Gayest of Gays:** YOU’RE WHAT!

**Stabby duck:** well we know y Luther is so dumb

-Five got all the brains, and Luther got the bronze

**Bentai:** what the fuck!

**Allicat:** i don’t see it

**Lesbean:** wait if Luther and Five are twins then why is Luther number one and Five number Five?

**Kid:** there a rank not the order we were adopted

**Stabby duck:** Vanya did you actually think it was the order we were adopted?

**Lesbean:** yes!!

**Gayest of Gays:** do you have twin telepathy?! Do you feel each other’s pain?!

**Kid:** well we aren’t twins anymore

**Moon:** what do you mean?

**Kid:** well you are half monkey now

\- I’m a child you’re an adult

\- and most of my DNA was replaced by the best assassins through time

\- thus we aren’t twins anymore 

\- TLDR; 50% of both of our DNA was replaced and the other 50% is different cuz I’m 13 and your 30

**Bentai:** you got a point… like you always do

\- but… your still technically twins!

\- you both came from the same women, the same womb 

\- so you’re still twins, just not biologically 

**Stabby duck:** you’re making this less fun

_ 12:03  _ **_GAY MaDnESs_ **

**Kid:** what do u want me to say?

**Stabby duck:** idk

\- what do you think of it

**Kid:** i said what i thought of it!

**Allicat:** what do you think about it

**Moon:** i don’t know

**Gayest of Gay:** we should have a family meeting

\- and get all of dads books and read them, so we can talk about is

\-  _ @Stabbyduck _ pick Five up from school, please

**Stabby duck:** Sure

_ 12:03  _ **_Direct Messages_ **

**_Di and Fivey_ **

**Di:** five!

\- how do you FEEl about it

**Fivey:** idk 

\- what do you expect

\- i'm literally in school dealing with annoying teachers

\- then out of nowhere i get a text saying me and the golden boy are twins

**Di:** so not okay

**Fivey:** idk im not happy

**Di:** okay

\- that’s okay

\- hey if i found out Luther was my twin i would probably cry and scream out of anger

**Fivey:** i'm not angry i'm just idk confused?

**Di:** okay 

**Di:** well Klaus wants me to pick u up so we can talk face to face before the family meeting okay?

**Fivey:** sounds good

\- thanks di

**Di:** no problem

  
  


_ 12:05 _ **Homeroom 5⁰⁹**

**President:** _ @Smart1  _ why are you leaving school early

**²smartest:** everything okay?

**Smart1:** im fine

\- just some family drama

_ 12:05 _ **Detect Messages**

**E= Darth and E= Walmart**

**_E= Walmart_** **_changed their name to Quin_**

**Quin changed E= Darth to Demi**

**Demi:** ?

**Quin:** got bored with those

**Demi:** oh okay

\- you sure you’re ok?

**Quin:** idk

\- i will be?

**Demi:** you can talk to me

**Quin:** i know :)

**Demi:** <3

\- that’s vid chat later okay?

**Quin:** sounds good

**Quin:** i have a family meeting ill tell you about later

**Demi:** okay call you later

**Quin:** call you later :)

_ 12:05 _ **Detect Messages**

**Alli to Luth**

**Alli:** you okay?

**Luth:** i don’t know

\- the more i look into dad the worse he seems

**Alli:** its good that you’re seeing all the bad

\- now we can fix the cracks, right?

\- and hey Sissy Said that Vanya was thinking about doing therapy

\- and i know Klaus is in therapy and Diego did group therapy in the 60s and they are thinking of putting five in therapy 

\- i have to do therapy cuz of Claire so maybe you could try therapy?

**Moon:** yeah, i think i should try

**Allicat:** ya either it works or it doesn’t but you tried

**Moon:** yea 

**Alli:** and i know a really good therapist

**Moon:** send me the contact

**Alli:** _ shared contact: Dills Therapist _

_ 12:20 _ **Detect Messages**

**Luther to Dills Therapist**

**Luther:** hello, I’m Luther my sister Allison sent me your contact

\- i believe you are a therapist, do you have any openings?

**Dills Therapist:** Hello Luther, yes i do have some opening how does next Thursday at 2:30 pm sound?

**Luther:** sounds good, thank you

**Dills Therapist:** _ shared location:  _ _ 244 5th Ave #2 · Near Madison Square _

_ \-  _ see you soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: *write chapters and forgets to post them*  
> sorry I forgot to post!! this has been ready for weeks, I hope you all enjoy the chapter.  
> and as always I love constructive criticism so if you have any ideas for the fic anything you want to see or any inconsistencies please comment!
> 
> Love you all

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Klaus Cares](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26303008) by [NoMansWindow2846](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMansWindow2846/pseuds/NoMansWindow2846)




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